Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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