I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
please don't ironically join a cult
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