WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
