There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
