its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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