i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
