anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
