if only i could text you this smell
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
