it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize