Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
