At least make sure they are 18
Why
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
