I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
