If i come over, it means nothing
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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