i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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