i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
