The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
