You're so nebulous sometimes
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
