Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

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  (601): hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow? http://tfl.nu/vvua
  Replies (124) Good night (6328) Bad night (2360)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

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  (732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right http://tfl.nu/htd0
  Replies (31) Good night (29385) Bad night (1101)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.

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  (571): I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub. http://tfl.nu/fw5s
  Replies (21) Good night (1409) Bad night (4370)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Too many margaritas?

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  (405): Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog. (321): Too many margaritas? http://tfl.nu/18gt
  Replies (9) Good night (4078) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

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  (816): votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads http://tfl.nu/utdd
  Replies (8) Good night (925) Bad night (1975)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.

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  (843): I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship. http://tfl.nu/ax7l
  Replies (33) Good night (1506) Bad night (2996)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

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  (256): I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies. http://tfl.nu/fekw
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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  (913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv
  Replies (8) Good night (1551) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  don't pay it forward

  (1-315): View more from New York

  I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced

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  (315): don't pay it forward (1-315): I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced http://tfl.nu/bffp
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy

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  (614): I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy http://tfl.nu/28is
  Replies (3) Good night (1425) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror

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  (865): He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror http://tfl.nu/h00k
  Replies (4) Good night (263) Bad night (584)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown

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  (+44): We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown http://tfl.nu/o3v8
  Replies (10) Good night (2076) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth

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  (262): Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth http://tfl.nu/ck6h
  Replies (2) Good night (667) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it

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  (202): All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it http://tfl.nu/syvy
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.

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  (407): I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops. http://tfl.nu/h88v
  Replies (4) Good night (469) Bad night (383)

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