Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.

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(415): View more from California

OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING

(1-415): View more from California

Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!

(415): View more from California

I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.

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