So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
