Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize