I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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