Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
