it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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