Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
