I didn't shave. On purpose
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
