she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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