I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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