I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
