he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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