Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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