He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
