I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
