just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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