are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
