A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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