I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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