If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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