How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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