Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
