I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
