how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize