No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
