I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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