whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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