dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
