I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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