he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
