AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
