its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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