Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
