Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
