I just saw a hot homeless man
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
a search helicopter?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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