i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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