Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
