I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
