Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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