well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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