So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
