Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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