Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
