I must be too annoying 4 u.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
