it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
