everyone is single if you try hard enough
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
