his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
