they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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