someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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