This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
