he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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