1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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