If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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