i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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