why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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