its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
